IQ Tests
OK, why is that everyone I know who's done an IQ test gets about 130? Do I hang around with geniuses, or are Internet IQ tests just a fancy random number generator? Maybe it's like when there was a "how tall are you?" thread on an internet forum I'm on the average for men was about 6ft 2 and not 5ft 10.
Anyway, I got 136, and I'm a Visionary Philosopher - which is what I've been saying all along!
Beat that!. Cleverest gets a Blue Peter badge I got off eBay. What? I want to get into the zoo for free.
Posted on: Friday, 31st March 2006
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Top 5 easy jobs
1) Columnist for Sunday magazine supplement - Half an hour a week to write off some irrelevant self-obessessed pseudo-intellectual screed. "Today I took the kids down to the park near ouyr Tuscany house in the 4x4. Whenever we have the weekend together in Tuscany, which is sadly not often enough, I like to treat the children to a little of the finest wine the valley will allow. A vagrant looked at me, which reminded me that I pay far too much tax." It's like blogging only you get paid and people read you.
2) Subeditor for local newspaper - On the front of the Leicester Mercury I saw this headline: "BOY, 11, WITNESSES BROTHER'S BUS HORROR". That's right. The front page story is not about an awful tragedy in which a young boy was sadly killed, no, but that his brother witnessed it. Are they saying that it's worse to witness an accident than be in one?
3) Crossing warden on a pelican crossing - For children who are unable to press buttons. Which is very few, because in my experience it's impossible to stop children from pressing buttons.
4) BBC local radio presenter - Say something boring about yourself, play a bad record nobody ever wanted to hear again, listen to an old man complain about how children are forced to see accidents and that would never have happened in his day, and then complain about how the council is wasting money on crossing wardens on pelican crossings.
5) Airline Pilot - There's autopilot. And if that doesn't work, there's a co-pilot.
Posted on: Tuesday, 28th March 2006
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Mikeynet Update Again
Dear Morrissey
Also, while we're here, look at these:
Poor attempt to stop some kids from copying floppy disks
The Rolling Stones weren't always rebels. They liked Rice Krispies as well.
Posted on: Saturday, 25th March 2006
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Fact times Importance = NEWS
Blogs where people write what they're doing are rubbish and boring for the most part, so I'll keep this brief:
My little sister Hannah got baptised the other week back home at church in Sheffield. It was great to see how God was working in her and things. A tear nearly came to my eye during her testimony, but it didn't, not because I don't want to do the embarassing big brother thing, but because my Dad was filming it. But people's baptisms are an amazing thing - I didn't know the other two people but their testimonies were a great encouragement. Loads of my family came as well (who aren't Christians), which is great because they got to hear the Gospel preached. It would be pretty cool if readers of this blog would continue to pray for Hannah that she continues to be bold for Jesus at school and whereever. I might put a video clip up here at some point, to embarass her. Ha!
The other fun thing that happened that day was that I stole my brother's shoe and tried to throw it into the ladies' toilet. Sadly onlookers thought that I was trying to go in and the shoe hit someone, so I probably won't be invited back.
I'm still temping around Leicester in various low-paid menial office tasks. I've just finished my stint at probation (not on probation, you cheeky so-and-so) and next week I'm working at a college doing, er, menial office tasks. Wicked!
I need to sort out Mikecongreve.com. It's rubbish.
Posted on: Saturday, 18th March 2006
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Today's Thought-Pipe Bulletin
1) Today, I learnt that my mobile phone is not waterproof. In fact, water destroys it. Not even the hand drier could salvage it. Yes, that's right, I dropped my phone in the toilet. Before I went, I must add. don't laugh; if you haven't done it, you will.
2) Good and bad aren't that simple. The past few weeks I've been temping for the probation service. My role's been mainly limited to typing transcripts to meetings very very fast, but the subject matter of those meetings has not been pleasant. Some people are very messed up indeed, and, given their family history it was pretty inevitable. It's quite depressing when you're typing up about a sex offender and you then learn that he thinks his behaviour is normal due to systematic abuse from his parents. It's not as easy as splitting people up into good or bad, or even sick and well. It's just... sinful behaviour and, er, less sinful behaviour, and when people can't even see what they're doing as wrong, something very bad has happened somewhere along the line. But then, aren't we all guilty of that to some degree? I need to think about this some more.
3) Photocopiers are amazing. They do stapling and everything!
4) You know what I hate? It's when someone offers you a crisp or sweet or something, and you put your hand in but for some reason you find it hard to pick up an individual item so you're stuck either putting your sticky fingers all over the contents or grabbing a load of them. either way, you have your hand in the bag too long and that's just impolite.
Posted on: Thursday, 16th March 2006
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Some people just can't be bothered to try and get it
imagine the following conversation.
Mikey C: I've been accused of killing a man and I'm going to go to court tomorrow!
Davey G: Oh really? How interesting.
Mikey C: Yes. We'll let the courts decide the truth.
Davey G: What the - ? The judge told you to do it?! How could you even think of blaming the judge! What is wrong with you?!
Mikey C: What? Leave me alone, weirdo. I'm off to knife some dogs. I mean, er, fly a kite.
...It doesn't make masses of sense. Neither does the whole reaction to this. Religion's fine, as long as you don't actually believe anything. If Tony Blair's using his deeply held convictions to sway his decision making then that's fine, as long as he doesn't tell us about them or mention God. And, interestingly, the disturbing thing is that he didn't even make it clear that he necessarily believed himself (although I have no doubt he does). It makes me wonder whether some people have this weird kind of knee-jerk anti-Christian reaction whenever anyone mentions God. It's like they can't even be bothered to realise that their reaction doesn't make sense.
Posted on: Tuesday, 7th March 2006
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I like coffee
Those lovely people Dave Bish, Andy Shudall, Rosemary Grier, Maurice McCracken and someone I don't know who calls himself Sam have started the marvellous Coffee Bible Club blog which is good so far. They're talking about worship at the moment.
Posted on: Thursday, 2nd March 2006
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