Holiday #10: Praharama
We had a look at the castle today and generally wandered around town. From the old palace you get magnificent views of the city. It's certainly strange that just 20 years ago this city was inaccessible to Westerners. Now, of course, it's overrun. Didn't see any drunk British tourists vomiting into statues, though, which was fortunate.
I still have the taste of raw meat in the back of my mouth; it is a hundred times foulness. We managed to find a restaurant in the evening where the food was nice. I had some chicken thing. Which was cooked.
Posted on: Monday, 23rd July 2007
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Holiday #9: Czech it out
We set off from our swanky batchelor pad at about 9. We were both very tired and grumpy (at least, I was) when we arrived at the Keleti station. I was paranoid that the train might be reservations only (there was a mysterious symbol on the timetable, and they key was only in Hungarian), so I ran around looking for someone that knew and could speak english. We were allowed on - hooray! - and prepared for an inimitable 7-hour journey.
The train took us along the Danube for a bit, into Slovakia where we stopped at Bratislava and met the scary passport/ticket men, and then headed north east through Brno. Eventually after 4 tedious hours (the other 3 were okay; I think I was asleep) we arrived in Prague. On disembarking, we were greeted by an army of people asking us to stop in their hotels.
FACT: The hotel has very low platforms.
Once in the centre of Praha we wandered around in a circle for about half an hour trying to look for a hostel which we had a leaflet for. Unfortunately we were hampered by bad instructions and me not looking at the map properly. But mostly bad instructions. The hostel was quite nice, with pretty views, and Art Attack was on the telly only in German.
After some resting we went to a restaurant where Dave got some tasty chicken and mushroom thing and I managed to order myself a big plate of raw mince. It was rank. However, a holiday is not a holiday unless someone orders something nasty, so in a way I'm glad. The tasty feast (the Budvar was nice) was followed by a stroll along the river. When people say that Prague is one of the most beautiful cities in the world they are not being crazy liars - it really is very nice. I am gutted that we can't stay longer; time constraints mean that we've got to get to Berlin by Tuesday.
Oh and I'll post some pictures in tomorrow's posting
Posted on: Sunday, 22nd July 2007
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Holiday #8: I feel (ticket) fine
Day 7. So very, very hot. We have started hallucinating.
Budapest was once two distinct cities facing eachother on the Danube. Scenic, hilly Buda, and vibrant Pest; the two weren't linked until the mid-1800s when the Chain Bridge was constructed. Even today the two halves retain their distinctive identities, making Budapest a city of many parts(© some guide book)
The man at the hostel was not just right about Budapest being beautiful in the evening down at the river, he was also right about people being gits. We got caught by a mean ticket inspector on the tram, even though he saw us get on and try to validate our tickets! We got fined €20 each which was a bit rubbish. But it's OK, I'm over it now. He's the one who has to sleep at night with that on his conscience. And one day he'll slip up... and on that day I'll be waiting...
Anyway, it was far too hot to do much in the way of sightseing, which was a shame. We walked up to the palace which provided nice views of Pest and Buda up and down the (green) Danube, and strolled across a few bridges. My camera had run out of batteries, hence no pictures.
After a rest we went to the Jewish district ("really interesting, guys") where we sat in a bar for a bit and talked to a couple from Brighton, who recommended a bar in Berlin with a name they couldn't remember at all. Ach! I think we also weirded them out when we went on a disturbing tangent and I made a joke about people in Prague paying by Czech.
It's a shame we couldn't stay longer in Hungary. Budapest is in some ways less attractive than the places we've visited so far, and it is dirty and not particularly friendly... but we saw so little of it that it seemed like too harsh a judgement. We must keep moving - like a shark!
HUNGARY FACT: The man on the 200 forint note looks like a super-smug version of Pierce Brosnan only with a beard.
Posted on: Saturday, 21st July 2007
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Holiday #7: Buda pesticide
We are in Budapest! It is officially the hottest place IN THE WORLD, making Vienna seem more like Viennetta! (Probably would have worked better had I not already used that joke.)
When we got to the hostel it turned out that they had not properly received our booking! Fortunately they had a spare apartment about 10 minutes away. The owner spoke in a bizarre New Yawk drawl; I'm not sure whether he spent a lot of time there or whether he's just watched Goodfellas a few too many times. He showed us all the good places on a map ("this place is really beeyodiful, guys"), told us that all Hungarians are essentially scum(!) ("they're all out for your money, guys, everyone here's out for whad they can get") and told us not to go out because we would die from hotness. I think he was exagerrating. I didn't want to argue with him, though, because he sounded too much like Robert de Niro.
Despite the fact that the webstie told us that we had booked a twin room (and that they weren't any other rooms) we had actually booked a double bed, and this was apparently our fault (?!). However, in case we were gay, he gave us two rooms anyway for the same price - cashback!
Due to the severe hotness we spent the evening lazing around our swanky and bargainous apartment and resolved to check out the sights later when more acclimatised and/or less tired. We watched a Hungarian DVD of The Third Man (since we went to Vienna) and it switched to Hungarian halfway through. It took us a few minutes to notice, which was amusing.
Robert de Niro was right, though - The Danube certainly is beyoodiful in the evening.
My camera is rubbish in the dark though.
Posted on: Friday, 20th July 2007
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Holiday #6: Desperate Danube
We are still in Vienna. This morning we got up early and went to the funfair - apparently the most fun place in the whole of Austria. There is a big wheel which is about 120 years old and was in the film the Third Man. It was class because we could see a fair distance, which you would hope for as it cost €8 a go! It is a symbol of Vienna - at great effort they quickly repaired it after the war.
Soon after this we crossed the nearby Danube. Despite what you may have been told at school, the Danube is green. And now I have Strauss in my head. Grr. It does look blue in this photo though:
There is so much more to see in Vienna - the streets just off the tourist routes are beautiful, there are thousands of museums, and the city has a rich musical history. However, time, like Tom Cruise, is short, and tomorrow we are off to Budapest. I can't wait to try out my Hungary/hungry jokes!!!
STEREOTYPES SEEN:
Man with twirly moustache: 10pts
Man who looks like Pat Roach in Raiders of the Lost Ark: 8pts
Man with beard, singing while on bike: 8pts
Posted on: Thursday, 19th July 2007
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Holiday #5: Oh, Vienna.
We were able to catch the night train to Wien (or Vienna, language fans!). At Strasbourg station (which is, for some reason, covered in a big glass dome, a bit like the future) we tried to reserve seats but were told by the man that we would simply have to ask the train manager. He seemed to think it wouldn't be a problem but me and Dave were secretly worried that we would have to turn on the waterworks or offer bribes. We didn't, possibly due to our stunning good looks there being lots of space.
The train was split into compartments like on old films so we bagsied one and tried to get some sleep. We must have got some sleep because I was woken by a slightly scary sounding ticket man who studied my ticket for just long enough to make me nervous.
We decided to get a space in the nearest hostel which meant sharing a double bed (and thus paying slightly more! Madness!)
Vienna is a very pretty city, but it is also HOTTER THAN THE SUN!!! It would require me looking on Wikipedia to tell you about it's history (tour guides? Pah!) so I won't, but there is plenty of marvellous architecture. As Midge Ure was once inspired to sing: "Oh Vienna, la la la, do-be-do!"
VIENNA FACT: Vienetta is made of tiny Viennese children
VIENNA FACT: It is easy to confuse Vienna with Vietnam. Don't. You will have a rubbish holiday, especially if it is 1968.
Posted on: Wednesday, 18th July 2007
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Holiday #4: Arc-eology.
The next train East that we could catch was not until 6 so we spent the day lazing around. Paris is quite pretty so we spent a couple of ours sitting in a park on an island in the Seine. A couple were sat there kissing - where did they think they were? Love-town? Anyway, we decided later to check out the Arc du Triomphe. It's bigger than I imagined (I think I was thinking more of an Arc du Decent Win) and you can climb up but we didn't because we are tight.
As I write this we are on a super-fast TGV to Strasbourg!!! We are aiming to catch an overnight train to Vienna but we have no idea if we can catch it or not... this is called living on the edge.
STEREOTYPES SEEN:
Accordian player 9pts
Mime: 7pts
BONUS: Used the phrase "Ou est la gare?" and understood the answer!!!
Posted on: Tuesday, 17th July 2007
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Holiday #3: In Seine.
Tourism day!!! We escape from Hotel Nasty as soon as we can and book into a nice looking hostel. It takes us a while to find it, which I think is becoming a pattern. It's not too pricey either. I had been reading Down and Out in Paris and London by George Orwell, which I was hoping would give us tips on surviving on 5 centimes a day if we ended up in the 1930s (which money left over for cups of tea).
Unlike the London Underground, with it's clearly signposted regularly placed stations, the Paris Metro us cleverly hidden and the entrances are no indication as to where the actual station platforms are. Once you find the secret, almost unlabelled entrance, you must navigate a vast labyrinth of tunnels, staircases and indecipherable maps in order to find your train. Which probably contains a man playing the accordian. What fun!
We got off the Metro at the Concorde which is a big square with an obelisk nicked from Egypt in it. We wandered along a path and saw the Louvre. It is a lovely old building with a glas pyramid in front of it. It's almost as if someone said "This courtyard needs a pyramid! Now!" Weirdly, it almost works.
The Eiffel Tower looked really close so we decided it would be really sensible to walk to it. Of course, not for the first time, we were forgetting that it only looked really close because it is really big. The queue was shorter if you took the stairs so we decided to go for it, like a pair of intrepid idiots. We walked up the 700 stairs to the second level. I reckon that's about a week's worth of steps. We had to catch a lift to the top though - oh no! A quite magnificent view, though. Tres bien!
Anyway, next we went to see Notre Dame which was in the middle of mass. I've never seen a proper Roman Catholic mass before; it was strange but oddly affecting. Outside we saw a real-life hunchback:
STEREOTYPES SEEN:
Man in a suit riding a moped: 7pts
Loud Americans complaining about something: 8pts
Posted on: Monday, 16th July 2007
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Holiday: #2 - Not the Paris Hilton
Ah, apparently in France on Sundays the trains just don't work. Our trip to Paris therefore involved a 4 hour stop-off in Bolougne. It's nice enough even though we take the most round-about method possible to find the walled city. I order some drinks in French but get spoken to English, which annoys me, though I will be glad when I get to the Czech Republic I suppose.
The train to Paris took ages and was a bit like being trapped in a long, moving sauna OF DEATH. On arrival at Paris Gare du Nord (That's North Station, language fans!) we are too tired and hot to do much. It is 6pm anyway. The tourist information is shut so we wander about a bit until we get desperate and enter a cheap-looking hotel. And when I say cheap-looking, I mean one without a proper front door. The owner of the hotel is a friendly man who was very helpful even though he thought we were Swiss. Who knew I spoke French in a Swiss accent? Unless, of course my French is worse than I thought and he was talking about something entirely different. I sort of understood what he was saying, though.
So, what does €40 get you per night in Paris, one of the world's most popular tourist destinations? It gets you a room that smells of stale cigarettes and dog, with a door that, despite being apparently rectangular, is actually a completely different shape to the doorway, and mysterious bed stains. You don't get a double bed, but what seems like a single designed for obsese midgets. There's an en-suite, but a door that only shuts half-way. You also get a free wake-up service at hourly intervals throughout the night. Still, €20 each - bargainous!
We went put for some dinner and ended up in a Japanese restaurant. I was going to try and impress the waitresses with my language skills but to my horror I realised I could only recall about 4 words. And one of them was "walkman". Babbled broken french instead which didn't impress anyone at all.
All of Paris looks the same in the dark and every street corner seems to have the same pharmacy on it, so it took us a while to find the hotel again. Thing learnt: if you think the way back is really simple, you are probably lost.
Posted on: Sunday, 15th July 2007
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Holiday: #1 Clover Over Dover.
Early morning. Dozily enter taxi at 6:15 and stumble onto train to London. It should be very exciting but we are too tired and decaffeinated to show any emotion apart from mild panic. We get into London at about 8 and traverse the Tube to London. Dave has never been on the Underground before - zongolol! The train to Dover is really slow and boring, which is as frustrating as when a fat man jumps in front of you in the dessert queue and spends an hour choosing all the cakes. Only not at all like that.
Eventually, we arrived at Dover. There are no bluebirds over the white cliffs of Dover; presumably that will be tomorrow (just wait and see). We discover, tediously, that foot passengers have to have their bags scanned like at airports! Presumably, since they don't bother checking vehicles, the port staff reckon terrorists wold be put off from blowing up their own cars.
By the time we got to France we realised that perhaps not planning ahead wasn't the best of, er, plans. We decided Paris was going to be rammed (mainly due to Bastille Day) so we stopped off in the lovely 'resort' of Calais. The hostel was nice, and the beach was not unpleasant, but there was a weird French singing man and it is a bit chavvy. A fine beer was purchased, though.
Stereotypes spotted:
Man on a bike in a blue and white jumper: 10pts
Man smoking in food queue 10pts
Restaurant that sells snails 5pts
French pop karaoke 10pts
Posted on: Saturday, 14th July 2007
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a brief post.
Next week I am going on holiday! Yay! Yippeee!!! YAY-O-RAMA
And in case you feel like crying or something, read my friend Nathan's lovely blog about his trip to Africa where he's helping a team to educate children about safe sex.
Posted on: Tuesday, 10th July 2007
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Ideas Leech Plan
I can't think of any new features for my Mikeynet (apart from the constantly gestating Jack Bauer's 24 Choose-Your-Own-Adventure[1] and Mystery Castle The Interactive Text Adventure).
Can you?
[1] - There was a feature on Mikeynet's predecessor Mike-net (it's not there anymore) where I spent ages making a choose-your-own adventure, which featured Batman, me, some people off the internet, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I think one of the endings me and Buffy got married (hey, I was 17) but most of the endings were deaths. It was a thousand times ace, but I lost it and it hasn't turned up on archive.org.
Posted on: Thursday, 5th July 2007
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