House of the Dead (Boring)
Living alone is rubbish and boring. Sure, you can sit around in your pants, fart all the time and watch whatever you like on the telly, but what's the point of doing all those things unless you know it annoys whoever else is in the room?
Posted on: Saturday, 29th September 2007
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updates
I've updated Mikeynet again with a comic that took me ages to draw, although it still probably proves that I can't. Meh.
read it!
Posted on: Wednesday, 26th September 2007
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TOP FOUR
...gripping and thrilling story openings!!!
“It was a dark and stormy night. The cold, hard rain battered against the wall like a never ending torrent of terrible, terrible wetness. It was on this night that my life changed for ever and also, I got a new job handing out copies of the Metro down by the station”
“It was Friday the 13th. The clock struck midnight. I screamed. Someone had stolen my house. And my feet.”
“Mondays. I could never stand Mondays. It all started one Monday in 1986 when all my family died in a terrible accident involving an obese bonobo monkey and a member of Spandau Ballet.”
“It was the morning of Bilbo's 14th birthday. He and his friends drank an entire 2 litre bottle of his Dad's whiskey in the school playground and were sick all over The Old Gaffer's vegetable patch.”
Posted on: Monday, 17th September 2007
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How wars will be fought in the future
An artistic rendering, by me:
Posted on: Sunday, 9th September 2007
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Fight Pub. (A short story I just wrote)
“I've just realised! All this time I thought I was friends with Brad Pitt, and it turns out that he was actually me!”
“No. Way. I would never have guessed.”
I was trapped in a bar with Edward Norton's character out of Fight Club. He was telling me about his job, his life, and how he created himself some kind of alternative personality as some kind of statement on late 1990s manhood.
I knew I shouldn't have asked about that time he shot himself in the face. Questions like that always seem to involve long stories about mental illness. Who would have thought?
I really needed a pee, but I was afraid he might flip out and start a fight. He still seemed a bit unstable despite the events of the film happening close to a decade ago. I wondered if he had a new, even more good looking alter ego. Maybe she's a woman this time. Maybe he'll introduce us. Hang on, perhaps not.
It wasn't until about half 11 that he finally got bored of ranting nihilistically at me and started trying to chat up the barmaid. I took my opportunity and legged it. Nutter.
He ruined the film for me as well.
Posted on: Thursday, 6th September 2007
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Ultimatium-o
I went to see the Bourne Ultimatum yesterday. It was most enjoyable, seeing Matt Damon running around out of focus and all shakey-cammed. All in all, it's been a most entertaining filmic trilogy!
The coolest thing watching the trilogy for the first time was that he was in many locations I've just been in in Europe. So it was kind of like my holiday, only with people shooting. Also, I only had one passport, I knew who I was, and I didn't pick up a hot German woman.
zomg! Pont Neuf!!
lolocopters! That Big Tower in Berlin!
Crikey! Paris Gare du Nord!
Roflharris! He's reading the Guardian!
Yikes! Oh, wait, he's in New York; we didn't go there.
Posted on: Sunday, 2nd September 2007
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