This is the weblog of Mike Congreve. Like Star Wars, only better.

Things I Did On My Holiday.

I haven't updated my blog in a while. Which is good, because it gives me a good feeling that since nobody reads it I know I haven't been wasting my time. I was going to carry on saying about the holiday but it's all downhill after we met the nazis in Salzburg really (Nazis? In a German speaking nation?). Spoiler warning – went to Venice, which was nice, Berne, which was also nice, Hamburg which was like a German Manchester, and Rotterdam, which was like a Dutch Hamburg.

Here are some events which have occurred since I last writed on this here internet blog:

International capitalism collapsed after it was realised that men were just throwing arbritary numbers at eachother.

I might write a play about it. A man spends all his life saying that he'll invest in random numbers which someone else's money before having an existential crises when he realises that money doesn't exist and the Adam Smith starts talking to him from the back of a £20 note saying “It's the invisible hand! The invisible hand!” before various other metaphors cause international banking collapse. I call it Blankety Bank.

I went slightly insane, then stopped.

I continued my quarter-life crisis by buying a bicycle for 30 quid and a new computer. I also now own my very own desk and a Staples loyalty card.

The Large Hadron Collider was going to destroy the world, but it broke because the magnets weren't attached properly. I think this and point one are linked, thus proving the interconnectedness of the universe. At such a small level everything's just weird stuff happening randomly all over the place, which makes me think that the universe works very much from the bottom up like John Lewis's.

Anyway, if they find the Higgs Boson then they'll know a bit more about what gravity is dramatically increasing the odds of the hoverboard being invented before I'm 30.

Posted on: Monday, 22nd September 2008
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