Top 10 Musical Delights of 2005
I like to buy CDs, and, happily, I also like listening to them as well. They said in the paper that this year was seeing a kind of rennaissance in British music or something, which is probably true. Now you can't look in any direction without seeing the very future of pop right in front of you, apparently. Well, that's what the NME says, anyway. I haven't read NME in years though; it's rubbish. I stopped buying Q magazine as well after one too many features about U2 and "the 1001 ringtones you MUST DOWNLOAD".
...which brings us nicely onto the subject of pointless lists and rambling reviews. Here are the records which, in Radio 1 speak, "rocked my world" throughout 2005.
Belle and Sebastian - Push Barman to Open Old Wounds
This excellent compilation of B&S's singles and B-sides contains some of the most unashamedly twee and cheery pop of the last decade. Stuart Murdoch's poetic lyrics are great as well. With 26 tracks, it would be silly not to buy it!
Editors - The Back Room
Sounding like a cross between Joy Division and Echo and the Bunnymen, Editors come across as a kind of gothic Brummie Interpol. If those names mean anything to you you should like it. In fact, you ALL SHOULD. Because it is fantastic.
Franz Ferdinand - You Could Have It So Much Better
Is it as good as their debut? Yes. And no. Lead single Do You Want To? is both irritating and fantastic at the same time, the first track might be the best thing they've ever done, but some of it's a bit... the same only different. There's pretty ballads and a piano on there too, though.
Coldplay - X&Y
Yeah, well, so they're a bit dull and the lyrics are getting worse. But they're also lovely. And if you think Chris Martin is a dull idiot – well, so are you.
Hard-Fi - Stars of CCTV
Hey, they're singing about important stuff like getting a job and a girlfriend, two things I am apparently incapable of doing. You can dance to it as well. The singer looks a bit scary.
Bloc Party - Silent Alarm
Woo! Bouncy stuff. But also political. Hmmmmm.
Maximo Park - A Certain Trigger
This is great. Quirky pop indie stuff that sounds a bit like post-punk bouncy angular rock stuff. I'm not sure what that means, but that's what it said in a review. Quite disturbingly catchy.
British Sea Power - Open Season
Their first album is 50% fantastic racket and 50% beautiful indie pop – scaring away the casual listener with 3 tracks that just seemed to be the mad rantings of some loons before moving into stuff that everyone would like. This second album is more listener friendly, and, as every reviewer ever has mentioned, contains a song about an Ice Shelf - O Larsen B.
Magic Dave - Your Home Is At Risk
By far the best fictional album that came out this year. You can read about Magic Dave on Mikeynet, somewhere.
The Futureheads - The Futureheads
“Aaah but this came out in 2004!” cries a pedant. But not the version I have, with the cardboard sleeve and superfluous extra disc with videos on. So there. This is also post-punk bouncy angular rock stuff, apparently, and gets better every time I listen to it. Also features one of the best cover versions ever - of Kate Bush's Hounds of Love.
WORST ALBUM
Maroon 5.
I don't know if they had an album out this year, but nonetheless their stinking musical entrails have seeped far too much into my consciousness so they win Worst Album Ever Created. The singer from Maroon 5's voice reminds me of the sound of nails down a blackboard while looking after a screaming baby by the side of an airport runway. Unpleasant.
Posted on: Thursday, 29th December 2005
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The Christmas Invasion (of family and food)
Doctor Who - He can save the world, and kick some alien backside (after a cup of tea) but don't go blowing up retreating aliens or he'll knock you down a peg or two. In those senses, the Doctor is just like me. The new Doctor Who hasn't been all that good at providing incredible, original storylines or epic, sweeping adventures, but it has been good at providing human drama and good jokes the way family telly should. The way they're really building up a world and consistent mythology is excellent – not quite up there with the way the best American TV does it but not too far off.
I went to church on Christmas Day (for the first time ever, it seems. Yikes). Arnold Bell preached a brief message about how, though Jesus came into the world in humble and apparently mundane circumstances, it was nonetheless world changing... which he skilfully brought round to the Gospel. When God works within us to make us aware of our sin and understand what Jesus has done, it's as big a miracle as any other, despite seeming small in worldly terms. Which is pretty cool.
As I write this it's my 23rd birthday. Not wanting to complain too much, but nobody seems to have bought me a physical present. This is the curse of the Christmas birthday. That and the fact that nobody can be bothered to go to your party. Anyway, here are my present hints for anyone reading this:
- Joint Christmas/birthday presents are fine as long as it's really really good, and not everybody is doing it. Then I just end up with no presents
- If you can't think of anything to buy, I like beer, gadgets and Star Wars.
- If you want to give a voucher then wrap it up in a big box or something.
- If I ask for money, buy me something small. I like beer, gadgets and Star Wars.
- If you can find some kind of Star Wars related beer gadget, that would be the best present ever.
Tomorrow the family are off for a tasty birthday meal which I'm looking forward to! Then I might enjoy some tasty pints down at the pub if I can acquire some acquaintances at such short notice.
Hope y'all had a good Christmas as well.
Posted on: Tuesday, 27th December 2005
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So this is Christmas. And what have we learned?
That's right, kids, war is over if you want it. Or so John Lennon claimed. It's possible that he didn't quite understand democracy, though, since I don't want war but it keeps on happening. I probably should write a letter or something. Still, it's better than Paul McCartney's Christmas song.
I realised some time ago that I have little to add to the myriad of knowledge and wisdom – there's nothing I can say that can't or won't be said by someone far more talented than me. That's why I'm not really going to go on about the true meaning of Christmas or anything. Nonetheless, I've decided that it is time to write a really intelligent “review of the year” type post. If anyone can think of anything I should mention, put it in the comments... otherwise it might just be me moaning about not having a job.
Have a most excellent Christmas.
Posted on: Saturday, 24th December 2005
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It's uncanny.
Find out here!
Apparently, I look like Paul "Microsoft" Allen and Linus "Linux" Torvalds, which is rather worrying. To those without degrees in computer science, Paul Allen is the less famous millionaire co-founder of Microsoft. He's kind of like the Andrew Ridgely to Bill Gates' George Michael. No, wait. He's more like the Gary Barlow to Gates' Robbie Williams. Or the other way around. Anyway, he left Microsoft fairly early on, but not before pocketing a number of the shares from his little venture and becoming one of the richest men in the world.
Torvalds, a Finnish programmer, created Linux, a free alternative to Windows, one day because he was bored. It soon took off, due to being free and not awful. He's kind of like the polar opposite. So, extending my mid-90s boyband metaphor he's a bit like Tony Mortimer out of East 17 with less rapping.
What do these people have in common, apart from their programming skills and relative fame? They're middle-aged, a bit overweight, balding and wear glasses.
I also look like Andie MacDowell, so it's not all bad.
Posted on: Saturday, 24th December 2005
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The Porpoise Driven Life
As a special early Christmas present, here is an extract from my new book, the Porpoise Driven Life. It's guaranteed to sell at least 100 gamillionsquillion and make me really really rich, especially since I use the pen name "Rich Waren".
Hi, I'm Mike and this is my book about how marine mammals and other sea creatures can change your life and make it better and more fulfilling. Let me say first of all though that this book is not about you; it's about marine animals. If you aren't a Christian, let me suggest you become one by saying the prayer in the appendix. Thanks. If you don't want to be one, then don't worry, this book is still good.
What's the number 1 problem in the church these days? Is it consumerism? Criticism of Intelligent Design? Rubbish songs? No - it's the lack of understanding how God's plan for your life involves marine mammals such as porpoises, dolphins and whales. Remember the scene in Free Willy when Willy, the Killer Whale, jumps over the wall and leaves his life of captivity? That's the same as God's amazing plan for you. Look at what it says in the Bible:
"Then the LORD ordered the fish“ (Jonah 2:10)
"God created the huge whales, all the swarm of life in the waters" (Genesis 1:21)
That's right - just as God orders the creatures of the sea, he also orders you to fulfil his fish-related plans and purposes. Jesus used loaves and fishes to feed the 5,000 - there's a reason why he didn't use camels or other land animals.
Remember how in Pinnochio, Pinnochio tries to look for his creator Gepetto and eventually finds him in the belly of the giant whale Monstro? A similar thing happened to Jonah in the Bible - he too found his father in the belly of a great sea creature.
"Then Jonah prayed to the LORD his God from inside the fish." (Jonah 2:1)
And, like how Pinnochio became a real boy because of his love for his father, Jonah understood that real gladness comes from knowing God. This is the real good news - that God has appointed sea creatures to teach us theological truths.
"Praise the LORD from the earth, you great sea creatures and all ocean depths" (Psalm 148:7)
The Bible mentions that there are 7 signs of ageing - such as grey hair, increased wisdom and baldness. Remember how Namaan bathes in the sea to cure himself of leprosy. God also promises to bring the seas to us:
"I bring the ocean depths over you and its vast waters cover you" (Ezekiel 26:19)
How amazing is this? Answer: Very.
The Porpoise Driven Life is coming out in all good shops next week and will be published by Mikeynet Publishing. And, before anyone asks, I do actually kind of like Rick Warren.
Posted on: Sunday, 18th December 2005
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ME ME ME meme.
Nobody has tagged me for this meme, but I don't care. I'm going to join in with their games anyway until someone blogrolls me for being great.
THINGS TO DO BEFORE I DIE
1. Get a job
2. Get a life
3. Learn how to play the piano
4. Write a good song
5. Write a novel
6. Stop. being. so. stupid!
7. Watch all the Star Wars films in a row
THINGS I CANNOT DO
1. Control the minds of my enemies
2. Answer questions seriously
3. Co-ordinate my limbs
4. Talk coherantly to people I like
5. Get a job
6. Get out of bed in the morning
7. Martial arts
THINGS THAT ATTRACT ME TO MY (ideal)WIFE
1. Laughs at my jokes
2. Susceptible to hypnotism
3. Well fit.
4. Trained assassin
5. The ability to control the minds of my enemies
6. Cooking skills
7. Again, I think the hypnotism one is important.
THINGS I SAY MOST OFTEN
1. Like
2. Hmm.
3. Yeah
4. Erm
5. Marvellous
6. Fantastic
7. Rubbish
SEVEN BOOKS I LOVE
1. The Bible
After a period of hardly reading anything while at university, I've only recently got back into it. I think I'll leave this one until I've finished reading a few more.
SEVEN MOVIES I COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER
In the interest of creating an interesting list, I'm limiting myself to one film per franchise
1. The Empire Strikes Back
2. Lord Of The Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
3. Seven Samurai
4. Spirited Away
5. Grave of the Fireflies
6. Evil Dead 2
7. Fargo
SEVEN PEOPLE TO DO THIS NEXT
1. I
2. don't
3. think
4. I
5. know
6. seven
7. people
Posted on: Saturday, 17th December 2005
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Interview-o-link
Adrian Warnock has a cool interview with Richard Cunningham from UCCFon his blog. Read it. He helpfully outlines the aims of CUs across the country.
Posted on: Saturday, 17th December 2005
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The meaning of Christmas through pop.
What could be a better way of discovering the meaning of Christmas than listening to Christmas pop songs? This can be done by watching music television (not MTV, that's not actually music television anymore, its a channel dedicated to showing cheap nasty teen programming that's like American Pie without the jokes) or walking into any shop after September. There hasn't actually been a decent proper Christmas single for years, which is a shame, especially for the makers of Christmas compilations who have to make do with putting Girls Aloud covers of Last Christmas on them.
Do They Know It's Christmas? Band Aid.
It's Christmas Time, there's no need to be afraid.
At Christmas, we bring in light and we banish shade.
Midge Ure apparently wrote the lyrics for Do They Know It's Christmas? in 5 minutes on the back of his hand just before Duran Duran arrived, so it's perhaps unsurprising that they're a bit rubbish. However, he manages to get the one of the true meanings of Christmas here: There's no need to be afraid! He's right. If you're scared of Christmas, it's quite likely you find most things scary and need help.
Merry Xmas Everyone! Slade.
So here it is, Merry Christmas. Everybody's having fun!
Look to the future now. It's only just begun!
Noddy Holder is a master of lyrics that make no sense whatsoever. Consider "It's the time that every Santa has a ball!" How many Santa's are there Noddy? 4? 5? No. There's one. You don't understand Christmas at all. Get out. And not everybody is having fun - some people don't even know it's Christmas. Ask Chris Martin.
I Wish It Could Be Christmas Every Day Wizzard.
Well, I wish it could be Christmas every day!
When the bells start ringing and the band begins to play!
When this song was recorded, Wizzard frontman Roy Wood had a long, white beard that made him look, quite literally, like a wizard. Of course, as everyone knows, if it was Christmas every day we would all become hugely obese, the economy would collapse, and we would be invaded by people who didn't know it was Christmas. time at all. Anyway, what's with the line "when the snowman brings the snow"? The snowman brings the snow? Which popular Christmas mythology features a snowman bringing snow? How can there be a snowman if there's no snow? Which came first, the snow or the snowman? You haven't though this through, Wood. Rubbish.
Fairytale of New York The Pogues and Kirsty MacColl.
The boys of the NYPD choir were singing 'Galway Bay'
And the bells were ringing out for Christmas Day
I don't think this song is about Christmas, but that doesn't matter because it's not half as contrived as the other 3. Shane McGowan and Kirsty MacColl are singing about being drunk and in love in New York at Christmas, I think. Anyway. They also exchange amusing insults. That's the other true meaning of Christmas, then, being drunk - possibly so drunk that they no longer know it's Christmas. Quick, call Bono!
Conclusion
From our leading pop stars, we can conclude Christmas is about drunk hedonism, snowmen, bells, parties, and also feeling bad about it. It's about loving eachother, spending time together and giving. It's the most cuddly time of year, all about magic and fluffiness. And, the interesting thing is that they've hit the nail right on the head. That's what Christmas is about, it's what it's become. That is, for a fair few people, the meaning of Christmas.
When people rail against modern Christmas, far too often they attack the consumerism and hedonism, yet imply that the 'true meaning of Christmas' is all about Dickensian jollity and peace on earth, something nice, yes, but still inoffensively secular. It still ignores the birth of Jesus, or sidelines it to something nice that happened once.
With that in mind, does it matter if it's renamed Winterval or whatever?
Posted on: Saturday, 17th December 2005
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Book-o-look
Dave Bish has mentioned on his marvellous blog his top 10 Christian books of the year. By strange coincidence I just finished reading his number 1 choice, "Finding Joy" by Marcus Honeysett which I bought at full price even though IVP didn’t give me a job. He excellently outlines how and why we should be living constantly in the light of God’s grace.
I haven’t read Pure by Linda Marshall, but I am going to plug it anyway because she did my tie up on Wednesday. I really should learn how to do it myself, although if I’d had that job at IVP I could have got loads of their published authors to do my tie up. I could write down how they do and create some kind of doctrinal test. "Oooh, half-windsor… hmm. Charismatic?"
But I digress.
Who would win in a fight between a giant ape and a lion? Depends who the lion is, I suppose.
Posted on: Thursday, 8th December 2005
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But the Life Application Bible doesn't have good stories in!
In my previous posts I hinted upon the ubiquity of the NCV Youth Bible. I'm not sure whether anyone still has a copy though, but when I was 16 or 17, you couldn't walk around Stoneleigh Bible Week (or the Bible Week of your choice) without being shocked by hundreds of young people and their yellow and blue Youth Bibles. The Youth Bible was available in two flavours; hard back (which featured a big Y and a big B on the front) and paperback (which had all sorts of words like “relationships” and “sexuality” on the front. Edgy!). Both versions had a picture of TV's Steve Chalke on the back (uh-oh!) plus a quote where he told us how great young people are and therefore how amazing the Youth Bible is.
The YB's main selling point was that it had little stories in. The most interesting ones were under the heading “sexuality” and were about someone who got pregnant, before realising that they were disobeying God. Then there would be some questions like “What does Ephesians 3v10 have to say on the subject”? But you'd never know because you were too busy looking for the story about the girl who broke her neck while swimming and became a famous evangelist or the one about the boy who got into metal music and stabbing. (I may have made some of those up).
Of course, one of the perils with being up-to-date, relevant and edgy is that you have to update it every so often, and the new front cover isn't as good. Hmph.
Posted on: Tuesday, 6th December 2005
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Great computing moments #1
Solitaire has been bundled with Windows since 1990 and as such is the most installed game ever. Now surpassed in my affections by Spider Solitare, Freecell and Hearts, I still feel a tang of nostalgia for the many hours I spent playing it because I didn't have enough time to play anything good. Plus you could put it on a floppy disk and keep putting it back on the school computers. It was great in the old pre-Pentium days, because when you won a game the cards bounced out gracefully instead of insanely fast and this was the coolest thing that could be seen on Windows at that time (the smiley face on Minesweeper only came with 3.1).
It was written by programmer Wes Cherry during his final college year as a means to learn Windows programming while interning at Microsoft. Like Alexey "Tetris" Pajitnov before him, he famously got paid absolutely nothing. When not working, he probably sits in a cave sulking.
interesting:
B3ta interview with Wes Cherry which may have strong language in it.
Less interesting:
The Solitaire rankings page
Oh, and the robot is the best deck design. Science proves it, probably. Oh yeah, and if you press CTRL+SHIFT+ALT when you click the deck it only turns over 1 card.
Posted on: Friday, 2nd December 2005
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Mega-lo-who?
Here's a brief post to alert you all to the filmic genius that is Shark Attack 3: Megalodon. Featuring such famous incredible talents as John "Captain Jack" Barrowman, and from the visionaries who brought you Shark Attack 2, you will be captivated from beginning to end.
Seriously. It's great.
Posted on: Thursday, 1st December 2005
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