2007. A PLAN.
I'm thinking about writing a novel. It's about a man who is trying to write a novel about a man who tries to write a novel. It's kind of autobiographical, and I'm hoping the principle of recursion will cause it to effectively write itself. The other plan is to make some cool new friends, ditch the old ones, and then make millions by setting up a social networking website. Actually, it might be easier to make the millions first now I think about it.
Hilarious joking aside, I would actually like to do some writing, but I never seem to get around to it. Most of Mikeynet has been written in about 10 minutes - I intend to go back though it and make it worth reading, but instead abandon it, and find it on some corner of my hard disk months later and think that I probably should put it up anyway since I haven't written anything else.
It's not that I don't know where the time goes - it goes on me reading nonsense of dubious origin on Wikipedia, laughing guiltily at people making fools of themselves on youtube, and imagining brilliantly witty and insightful conversations with people I hate/fancy/fancy and hate - it's more that I’m just very, very lazy. [note to potential employers: this refers to when I am not at work]. I'd write more, but I honestly can't be bothered.
Posted on: Sunday, 31st December 2006
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Review
So, that's 2006 over. How was yours?
Posted on: Sunday, 31st December 2006
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I would go out tonight...
Continuing my tradition of just posting weird videos off youtube when I think I should post something, here is Morrissey and Marr and some schoolchildren:
Further viewing - going to the zoo with Morrissey
Posted on: Saturday, 30th December 2006
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Things I intended to do in 2006 - but didn't
Get a really really good job
Go on holiday
Make some cool and interesting new friends and go on wacky adventures
Try and write something good
Become happy and well-adjusted
Lose some weight
Make something cool on you-tube
Destroy my enemies
Make more than $6 from Google adwords
Make fewer lists
Posted on: Wednesday, 20th December 2006
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The meaning of Christmas through pop #2
It's nearly Christmas! Last Christmas, I wrote about how the meaning of Christmas can be discerned through pop. So popular was that feature that I believe someone read it, and, since I'm feeling unoriginal, here's some more.
Last Christmas Wham!
Last Christmas I gave you my heart and the very next day you gave it away.
This year, to save me from tears, I'll give it to someone special
George Michael carelessly gave his heart away to someone or other who didn't like it. Maybe they already had one in a better colour; I don't know. But anyway, they didn't want it, and they gave it away. Nonetheless, Georgios has grown a new one and he's prepared to give that to someone more special. I'm not sure how that metaphor works, to be honest. So what's Christmas about? Heartbreak and disappointment. Sounds about right (I'm probably not getting a wii)
Little Drummer Boy David Bowie and Bing Crosby
"Who's at the door? Why, it's David Bowie. Hello, David Bowie. You're a singer too? Let's do a duet! Why, the chemistry between us is brilliant. It's not at all like I don't understand all this modern music... Wait a minute - I'm Bing Crosby for goodness sake! I sang White Christmas! Why am I on this lame special with longhaired weirdo I've never heard of?!! And what does this song have to do with Christmas? Bar-omp-a-bom-bom!" And what do drummers have to do with peace on earth?
Wonderful Christmas Time Paul McCartney
We're here tonight - and that's enough!
"Hi, I'm Paul McCartney! I'll tell you what I'm having - a wonderful Christmas time. The party's here, and stuff. Me and Linda are enjoying the turkey-flavoured Quorn slices, and... WHAT AM I DOING?! I used to be in the Beatles - The greatest pop band of all time! Somebody please HELP ME!"
Christmas is about a happy jolly party, with mullets and bad synths. In Japan there have been 143 cases of suicide directly related to the song. I am not surprised; it is horrible.
Happy Xmas (War Is Over) John Lennon
So this is Xmas - and what have you done? Another year over, and a new one just begun
And so this is Xmas, I hope you have fun - The near and the dear one; The old and the young!
Here's a song we can all enjoy. Nobody likes war (except for war on prices!) and everyone likes Christmas. These two popular themes are combined on what is without a doubt the best Christmas song released by a former Beatle. I think he's singing about, like, peace and love and being friends and all that. So it's pretty much the same as all the other songs. The best bit is when Yoko starts to sing in the chorus - no Yoko! What are you doing?!?! As far as I know, no major conflicts have been halted by this song; on the other hand, there have been no related suicides. So that's another point to John, then.
Conclusions
Er... Christmas is about love and being with families and children's choirs and young and old coming together to sing songs about drums. It is about peace on earth and parties and suicides. I can't wait.
The true meaning of Christmas is obfuscated by ideas, which, while not bad in themselves, should not be the only focus of Christmas. Yes, Christmas is a great time where we can - and should - have fun with each other, but it's also a celebration of Jesus' birth, a reminder of his coming to earth, and his death and resurrection. And thank God for that.
Posted on: Thursday, 14th December 2006
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Ooooooh heaven is a place on earth... show!
I like to watch the Heaven and Earth show on Sunday morning, you know, just to get my weekly dose of spirituality. It's great because it's a whole hour where Gloria Hunniford asks questions to people about how they were affected by, say, Princess Diana's death, and how that's made them more at peace with themselves. Weirdly, even though it's supposedly about religion, you aren't actually allowed to believe anything. Imagine a current affairs show where you get points for being indecisive.
Paxman: "Tony, were there WMDs in Iraq?"
Blair: "Well, I had faith that there was. And faith is very important to me."
Paxman: "So you went to war on false pretenses?"
Blair: "Well, really, Jeremy, what is truth?"
Paxman: "Fair point, Prime Minister. Which is cuter, kittens or puppies?"
Blair: "Kittens, definitely."
Paxman: "Definitely?!"
Blair: "I mean, from my point of view, yes."
Posted on: Monday, 11th December 2006
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Feed me
Due to popular demand (someone asked me) I have changed the RSS Feed so it shows a summary of the first 1000 characters of a post. If you have any issues, comment here. Otherwise, simply cheer heartily.
Posted on: Saturday, 9th December 2006
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Good vs Bad
Here are some things that are great:
Morrissey:
Everyone who agrees with me knows that The Smiths were the best band of all time; the combination of Johnny Marr's difficult to replicate guitar jangle and Steven Patrick Morrissey's witty, nostalgic lyrics about being an outcast (and that) created 4 fantastic albums and provided mopey teenagers of the 80s with a timeless soundtrack of miserable indie pop. Then they split up and Morrissey had an up and down solo career. I saw him in Nottingham this week and he was super! It did remind me, though, that the thing I really, really loved about the Smiths was Marr's playing rather than Moz's whining. It's a bit like going to see Paul McCartney live; he's great - it's Paul McCartney, playing great songs that he wrote - but... it's not the Beatles, is it?
Arrested Development
This great American sitcom is about, the title sequence says, "the family that lost it all, and the son who had no choice but to keep them all together." It is very funny and quite unlike any other comedy - not in a wacky smartarse kind of way, more in a densely-packed meta-referencing non-chronological postmodern kind of way. You know what I mean. It is genius.
These things are not great:
Torchwood
Rubbish. Rubbish. Poo. Rubbish and lame. Crappy. Rubbish - No, not my shopping list! These are all adjectives I would use to describe the cliched, badly written sci-fi bobbins that is Torchwood. It's like they start off with someone else's idea from an episode of The Outer Limits or Angel or something, write some poorly drawn, unlikeably dense characters into the story, and then, because that almost sounds good, they make extra sure none of it makes any sense whatsoever. I hate it. It's really bad. Why am I still watching it? WHY?!?!?! Because I am a fool, and because I'm too lazy to change the channel.
Posted on: Wednesday, 6th December 2006
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My incredible internet time machine
I have gone back in time through the internet and created this. I might make it more authentic and less crappy if I can be bothered later.
Posted on: Saturday, 2nd December 2006
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