Mikecongreve.com blog

twitter ye not

Mike Congreve — 2009-01-26 21:14:21

See what I did there?
Anyway:
@amazingmikeyc

.....

Mike Congreve — 2008-12-20 13:18:31

Eclipse is Stupid

Mike Congreve — 2008-11-07 19:50:59

Interesting note through the door.

Mike Congreve — 2008-10-19 18:28:50

GOOD PEOPLE OF [DELETED] STREET WHATS IT LIKE LIVING ON A STREET WHERE SEEDY DIRTY MEN COME TO PAY FOR SEX WITH 2 FORIEGN PROSTITUTES!
YOUR CHILDREN ARE OUT ON THOSE STREETS WHILST THESE TYPE OF UNDESIRABLE PERVERTS ARE LERKING.
WELL THIS IS ALL HAPPENING AT 114!! IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE THIS NOT GO TO [ADDRESS DELETED] SHE EVEN HAS HER PHOTOGRAPH ON THERE. AND IS NOW WORKING IN YOUR STREET!! DON'T LET THIS HAPPEN! PROTECT OURCHILDREN I LIVE HERE AND I DON'T WANT IT AND AM SURE YOU DON'T EITHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TOP TEN FILMS WITH DINOSAURS IN

Mike Congreve — 2008-10-01 22:21:53

1)Jurassic Park
2)King Kong
3)Jurassic Park 3
4)The Land Before Time
5)The Lost World: Jurassic Park
6)The Land Before Time VII: Great Valley High School
7)The Lost World: With The Dodgy Mexicans And The Giant Iguanas
8)The Land Before Time XIX: The Great Valley State Penitentiary
9)Dinosaurs From Space
10)The Land Before Time MCM: A Week Last Tuesday

Things I Did On My Holiday.

Mike Congreve — 2008-09-22 20:56:41

I haven't updated my blog in a while. Which is good, because it gives me a good feeling that since nobody reads it I know I haven't been wasting my time. I was going to carry on saying about the holiday but it's all downhill after we met the nazis in Salzburg really (Nazis? In a German speaking nation?). Spoiler warning � went to Venice, which was nice, Berne, which was also nice, Hamburg which was like a German Manchester, and Rotterdam, which was like a Dutch Hamburg.

Here are some events which have occurred since I last writed on this here internet blog:

International capitalism collapsed after it was realised that men were just throwing arbritary numbers at eachother.

I might write a play about it. A man spends all his life saying that he'll invest in random numbers which someone else's money before having an existential crises when he realises that money doesn't exist and the Adam Smith starts talking to him from the back of a £20 note saying �It's the invisible hand! The invisible hand!� before various other metaphors cause international banking collapse. I call it Blankety Bank.

I went slightly insane, then stopped.

I continued my quarter-life crisis by buying a bicycle for 30 quid and a new computer. I also now own my very own desk and a Staples loyalty card.

The Large Hadron Collider was going to destroy the world, but it broke because the magnets weren't attached properly. I think this and point one are linked, thus proving the interconnectedness of the universe. At such a small level everything's just weird stuff happening randomly all over the place, which makes me think that the universe works very much from the bottom up like John Lewis's.

Anyway, if they find the Higgs Boson then they'll know a bit more about what gravity is dramatically increasing the odds of the hoverboard being invented before I'm 30.

Day #7: The one with the nazis.

Mike Congreve — 2008-06-07 20:15:37

Got up and explored. We went up the funucular railway to the castle (it really puts the 'fun' in... you get the idea). From there we could see views of the surroundings which can only be described as "woo"some. It was a sunny day as well which meant we got some nice views of the hills. They're alive apparently, with the sound of music.

There was an over-descriptive audio tour, which told us that the "area was famous for salt - hence the town's name. Salz is German for salt!!", and an exhibition about Austians fighting wars with bushy moustaches. Mostly however, it was all about being high up.

On the way back, we saw some art. YES. We are so cultured, we should make our own Actimel.

Later on we met an Irish man called Kevin who didn't believe we existed. I can't remember his reasoning since my notes aren't quite that detailed... maybe we were too stunningly good looking. Anyway, we explored a couple of bars with him and he was a much amiable fellow.

When we got back to the hostel there were a number of very drunk Polish football fans with a big flag saying they had come from Ireland. The barman had let them choose the music and pull pints since the bar was otherwise empty, and they were most friendly and interesting. And when I say interesting, I of course mean they were nazis.

The Pole behind the bar decided to select a song on youtube, the video of which featured many skinheads and swastikas, at which point the bar erupted in a load of fascist salutes. Me Dave and Kevin decided to continue enjoying our pints, looking at the floor, deciding a civilised political debate was unlikely.

After the nazi song, one of the drunk Poles shouted "Abba! Play Abba! The winner takes it all!". So now whenever I see adverts for Abba Gold I think of the holocaust. Thanks, Poles!

Day #6: The Sound of Munich.

Mike Congreve — 2008-06-06 20:14:24

I should have used that headline yesterday.

We've gone to Salzberg. I'm hoping to find a tour of pretty locations that doesn't constantly talk about Julie Andrews. Euro 2008 kicks off tomorrow so we're thinking perhaps the Alpen countries may not be the best places to be around cost-wise. Indeed, the hostel is charging us extra from tomorrow.

The hostel is nice; the woman behind the counter is stupidly hot as well. These are important things to note. Anyway, we managed to spend a fair chunk of the afternoon asleep. We checked out a couple of bars which was nice.

She was really hot, though.

Day #6: The place with the giant beer

Mike Congreve — 2008-06-05 20:08:00

We got to Munich having had very little sleep. There was an annoying ticket inspector/border policeman who kept coming back and checking our passports. He searched our moustached room-mates bag which made me think he was on the look-out for a nefarious drug dealer. Lucky our cover remained, lol.

Munich is a big place, big on, er, bigness. All the buildings are enormous and grand and there are lots of statues of men on horses, and, in one excellent example, lions. We wandered around, admiring the Bavarian architecture and found some nice views in the Englischergarten (where there were rapids!) and the Hoffgarten (the Hoff was off with KITT we think). Down by the river a shield of the dense trees make you forget you're in a city of 1.5 million people.

In the evening we had some enormous pints of Bavarian ale, so big that they weren't actually pints, they were litres. I felt like a Hobbit. It was class.

Eurotour Day #5: Orange you glad we're in Amsterdam?

Mike Congreve — 2008-06-04 20:38:33

We left the hostel and wandered around some parks for a bit. We discovered that the RIA is a big boring exhibition centre and we went on a Metro train that meant we ended up futher away from where we wanted to be than when we started. That was nothing to do with me.

Anyway, that place was the Vincent Van Gogh museum. We felt very cultured admiring the paintings of him and his contemporaries.

We also find the world's coolest shop - it sold retro games consoles including things which I'd always assumed were myths - the Sega Nomad, the PC Engine, and the Virtual Boy! We had to leave because otherwise I would have bought something stupid like a 3DO or an Atari Lynx.

Alas, we forgot to return to the shop as we returned to the station to get the night train to Munich...